Lolcals Report - Shoot

Regina Yu-Gi-Oh! is fucking shit.

 

Things could be so much better.  Unfortunately as long as the incompetent are catered to this will never come to be.  Regina Yu-Gi-Oh! has always been a laughing stock as far as competition goes.  Our locals are a joke.  Our players are 80% casual fags with no desire to grow, accept change and have this notion that a player's skill is defined by how horribly made their decks are-LOL I MEAN HOW ORIGINAL IT IS.  Its no surprise that these are also the people that scrub out at the Regionals we have here, doing AT BEST 1-5 and that the players that come from Saskatoon, Winnipeg, Calgary and Edmonton see us as some backwater town whose few "good" players really aren't as all they've done is beat shitty Crystal Beast Six Samurai Alien Zexal Weapon Neo Spacian 60 Card Wonder.dek left and right.  I disagree with the notion that all Regina players are terrible.  I mean there's people like Megamonkey, Magnus, Bossman and obviously I'm going to throw my hat into this.  However it's pretty damn hard to prove otherwise when the majority of the player base here is full of scrubs and dinosaur hipsters who can't adapt to the times.

Even more saddening is that for the few competitive players that want to grow and become better its really discouraging to play it out because it's not worth the effort (or the lack thereof).  At this point I'm not really going to Locals for competition.  I'm just going to play a few non meaningful games before the REAL stuff happens at the Robins AFTER the tournament.

Again though things could be better.  For one we could have a tournament organizer who knows their shit and actually keeps up with the game.  I don't mind being asked for rulings help and such but when people are coming up to a player and not the judge for Rulings, Mechanics and other things that the judge is required to know about...there's problems.  Also the things that other locals have.  More packs for winning, box tournaments, player of the year rankings.  Yes these things cost money and would require customers to pay up front to participate but they would be so worth it as A) Better reasons to win and B) Because there is more of an incentive to win people will actually TRY to win.  They'll raise their game to beat out everyone else which in turn increases the level of competition in the environment.  If this were to consistently happen then the overall skill level of everyone participating at these tournaments would increase and create....a good community.  If you're going to the trouble of coming down to Locals which is located downtown why not make it worth the effort with a rewarding experience?

Obviously this kind of thing is doomed to fail because everyone is poor as fuck and would feel left out, the playerbase is again 80% retarded and they would be against it as it would "suck the fun out of the game", "everyone will just try hard and play the same boring, unoriginal decks because they win" and all of that other garbage that casualfags spout.  Since Tramps caters to these nincompoops obviously they'd side with them.  Oh and there'd be the whole issue of the current owner being a cheap as fuck pennypinching moron who is known for being horrendously out of touch.  I can only imagine the issues that would come up.

Whatever.  I don't care at this point.  Again I'm not going with the intent of gaining anything from my duels.  Let's just get on with this actual report;

So I decide to build Gishki on a whim and I tech it out to deal with Dragon Rulers.  Turns out the other Ruler players that don't fail are playing other decks.  Well then.

Round 1 - vs Badstellar (2-1)

He's got Honest and Dark Hole game 1.  Game 2 he takes a Gigas fist up the ass and Game 3 he opens up with all of his sided cards but like a champion I live off just enough to Wing Blast his Prohibition and start swinging with Gigas.  Also who the fuck runs Pitch Dark Warwolf and Horn of the Phantom Beast in Constellar?

Round 2 - vs Badstellar (1-2)

He takes too long to show up for the match and loses game 1.  3 Minutes people.  Game 2 he opens up all backrow and of course I can't draw anything to play around it.  Every one of my Gishki Abyss got hit by Fiendish Chain and my one Gigas was Bottomless'd.  Game 3 I couldn't draw monsters and I lose after resolving Morphing Jar 2 and several Xyz Encores.  Turns out I'm up against THAT GUY who runs Hyades AND a 22+ monster count.  The first thing that I thought?  "I lost to a fucking awful Constellar player.  That is NOT how you play this deck."

Round 3 - vs Bad Rulers (2-0)

Oh hey I'm up against Dragon Rulers!

"My build is different.  It runs things that other people don't."

Translation from Hipster talk; I'm running cards people deem as shitty because I'm so intent on being different from everything else even it comes at the cost of making my build VASTLY inferior to the other players.  I'm just too stubborn or terrible to realize this.

Anyway I flip Iron Wall on him Game 1 and he can't do jack about it.  Game 2 he resolves Return but my Swift Scarecrow cockblocks him and I sweep his board clean with Dark Hole, Gishki Beast and Zealgigas.

Apparently I made top 4 but because the TO failed to have someone keep an eye on the computer the results got messed up when nobody was looking?  How the hell does someone tamper with your station twice now?  Anyway because of stupid things there is no top four and we all get punished because of some random dickwad being a dickwad.  Would have gotten Astral Packs 3.  I also lament on my inability to play Blackwings after seeing Monkey's build.  He'd have KILLED me if we played btw.

We all head to Robins where some more games are played, except this time my Neo Lightsworns are used and glorious things happen.  Also I had a best of 3 Pokemon X/Y battle against Darkzane;

Game 1 - I lead with Greninja after seeing his team of Delphox, Lucario, Blaziken, Yveltal (I scolded him for bringing an Uber into this fight), Sylveon and Talonflame so I knew it would outspeed anything he had. We traded hits but I had 2-3 Pokemon to his Yveltal and Gardevoir took it down.

Game 2 - Leadninja into Ampharos to spread some T-Waves.  I was able to paralyze his Mega Blaziken which set the stage for Gardevoir to come in, copy his Speed Boost and do dirty things.  Then it went down and Gogoat saved the day with Earthquake.

After that monkey and I discussed ideas for a 100 card Dragon deck and called it a night.

Props
-New Lightsworn Tuners are good.  They aren't AMAZING but they're actually enough to add speed.  Those extra mills make up for the lack of CotH.
-Evolved Haunter into Gengar.  Yay.
-MOTHERFUCKING GRENINJA.

Slops
-Everything else.

Lolcals Report - Thy Kingdom Come

This locals was terrible even for Regina.

And that's how I am going to start off one of my best reports ever.  Why you ask?  Well simple.  You see many of the good players in the city had to work on Sunday which meant that overall quality would be down.  Thus I took it upon myself to be the shining example of greatness that our lost and disorganized Tramps Universe needed to remain decent at best.  If that meant that I had to become a villain then oh well.  In the end it would be best for business to do this and so I did.  Before starting the tournament I did some trades and picked up Trigons, sleeved up Dragon Rulers and set out to accomplish my one single goal for the tournament;

Put myself over in a manner befitting the head of the Yu-Gi-Oh! Lunch Club, even if it meant I had to BURY a few people along the way.

Round 1 - vs Blackwings (2-0)

Game 1; He plays Swallow's Nest and Elphin the Raven.  Of course I scrape him.  Colossal Fighter too stronk.

Game 2; He's a fucking hipster playing a shitty build of a good deck because it's "original."  Like I'm going to lose to this garbage.  Only fellow members of the Lunch Club can pin me.

Round 2 - vs Ophion.dek (2-1)

Game 1; I win the dieroll but open 2 Redox, 2 Maxx "C" and Sword into my third Redox.  He makes Ophion like any mid carder does and I can't clear it.

Game 2; He summons a monster and sets five.  None of those five are negates so I Black Rose him and win.

Game 3; He puts me down to under 900 but I've got Skill Drain up and by the time he clears it I've got the outs to his plays.  Anyone who thinks Ophion.dek auto-wins Dragon Rulers is a fucking moron.

Round 3 - vs Lightsworn

Game 1; Lightsworn sacking the shit out of me?  Like that's never happened before.

Game 2; He doesn't sack the shit out of me therefore I win.

Game 3; He tries to sack the shit out of me again with BLS, Sorc and Trag snatching my Colossal Fighter but I've got Book.  I make Big Eye, take BLS and attack over his Sorc and my Fighter who attacks over his Leviair.

Top 4 - vs Fire Fist (2-0)

Game 1; He summons a Gene Warped with 4 backrow.  I Black Rose him and win.

Game 2; He opens with Mind Drain but I play around it like a boss, picking off his set cards then making Black Rose again to wipe his board and win.  Another mid carder buried.

Finals - vs Fire Fist (2-0)

Game 1; He goes Dragon set five but unlike the other mid carders one of those is a Breakthrough Skill for my Black Rose!  Oh well I make Dracossack and wreck him.

Game 2; He opens with Dragon set a bunch but like I'm worried about Fire Fist sets.  I make Colossal Fighter and pin him for the 1-2-3.

I win lolcals, burying the competition in the proccess.  Unfortunately I was hungry so I didn't even think to cut a glorious 45 minute promo that would have the crowd hanging on every word I said while putting myself over even more and making sure mid carders like Dolph Ziggler would never amount to anything.

...too soon?

Then we went to Robins for Vanguard and to chat it up with the Apex Predator of the Lunch Club before calling it a day.

Hunter
-Putting myself over
-Burying Mid-Carders
-Securing a spot in the main event
-Black Rosing idiots who set their hand to the backrow without thinking
-Making people regret facing me at my maximum power

Hearst
-No epic promos
-Not having a 3 Disc DVD Set of my own

Helmsley
-Turning a bad Lolcals report into a lulzy one.