This locals was terrible even for Regina.
And that's how I am going to start off one of my best reports ever. Why you ask? Well simple. You see many of the good players in the city had to work on Sunday which meant that overall quality would be down. Thus I took it upon myself to be the shining example of greatness that our lost and disorganized Tramps Universe needed to remain decent at best. If that meant that I had to become a villain then oh well. In the end it would be best for business to do this and so I did. Before starting the tournament I did some trades and picked up Trigons, sleeved up Dragon Rulers and set out to accomplish my one single goal for the tournament;
Put myself over in a manner befitting the head of the Yu-Gi-Oh! Lunch Club, even if it meant I had to BURY a few people along the way.
Round 1 - vs Blackwings (2-0)
Game 1; He plays Swallow's Nest and Elphin the Raven. Of course I scrape him. Colossal Fighter too stronk.
Game 2; He's a fucking hipster playing a shitty build of a good deck because it's "original." Like I'm going to lose to this garbage. Only fellow members of the Lunch Club can pin me.
Round 2 - vs Ophion.dek (2-1)
Game 1; I win the dieroll but open 2 Redox, 2 Maxx "C" and Sword into my third Redox. He makes Ophion like any mid carder does and I can't clear it.
Game 2; He summons a monster and sets five. None of those five are negates so I Black Rose him and win.
Game 3; He puts me down to under 900 but I've got Skill Drain up and by the time he clears it I've got the outs to his plays. Anyone who thinks Ophion.dek auto-wins Dragon Rulers is a fucking moron.
Round 3 - vs Lightsworn
Game 1; Lightsworn sacking the shit out of me? Like that's never happened before.
Game 2; He doesn't sack the shit out of me therefore I win.
Game 3; He tries to sack the shit out of me again with BLS, Sorc and Trag snatching my Colossal Fighter but I've got Book. I make Big Eye, take BLS and attack over his Sorc and my Fighter who attacks over his Leviair.
Top 4 - vs Fire Fist (2-0)
Game 1; He summons a Gene Warped with 4 backrow. I Black Rose him and win.
Game 2; He opens with Mind Drain but I play around it like a boss, picking off his set cards then making Black Rose again to wipe his board and win. Another mid carder buried.
Finals - vs Fire Fist (2-0)
Game 1; He goes Dragon set five but unlike the other mid carders one of those is a Breakthrough Skill for my Black Rose! Oh well I make Dracossack and wreck him.
Game 2; He opens with Dragon set a bunch but like I'm worried about Fire Fist sets. I make Colossal Fighter and pin him for the 1-2-3.
I win lolcals, burying the competition in the proccess. Unfortunately I was hungry so I didn't even think to cut a glorious 45 minute promo that would have the crowd hanging on every word I said while putting myself over even more and making sure mid carders like Dolph Ziggler would never amount to anything.
...too soon?
Then we went to Robins for Vanguard and to chat it up with the Apex Predator of the Lunch Club before calling it a day.
Hunter
-Putting myself over
-Burying Mid-Carders
-Securing a spot in the main event
-Black Rosing idiots who set their hand to the backrow without thinking
-Making people regret facing me at my maximum power
Hearst
-No epic promos
-Not having a 3 Disc DVD Set of my own
Helmsley
-Turning a bad Lolcals report into a lulzy one.
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