Sunday 6 January 2013

He's the Angriest Dragon Tamer Nerrrrrrrrd.

Pesagus Challenges are retarded. Fun as hell but beyond retarded. This one was no different and overall it was pretty fun. What was so special about this one? Well the conditions were;

-All decks must be 100 cards. Extra decks are 30 or less
-You draw 2 cards during your turn.
-Traditional Format.

Needless to say I was defintely going to be doing some Yu-Gi-Ohz since this meant I could play cards like Painful Choice, Snatch Steal and Ring of Destruction while opting to make Chaos Dragon Lightsworns.

Round 1 - vs Crystal Beast Dark World (2-0)
Game 1 - He didn't know we were having the Pegasus Challenge and was forced to put 2 of his decks together and the result was as you'd expect. He did put up a fight thanks to hitting Dealings + Snoww and getting Grapha out...but then I took it with Goyo Guardian and summoned Red-Eyes B. Dragon and proceeded to win with THAT card. Glorious.
Game 2 - I opened with Future Fusion. Enough said.

...

Really? You want to know more? Okay. So he does Grapha my FuFu but it doesn't matter as I mill exceptionally well (a god damned rarity for me) and go Wulf + Wulf + Glow-Up Bulb into Trishula and get rid of his Grapha before I summon Chaos Emperor Dragon and nuke EVERYTHING forever.

Round 2 - vs Stall Burn (9999-0)
Game 1 - Already knew before hand I was going to be going up against this kind of deck since he asked about Appropriate (why do people play this fucking shitstain of a card?). He opens with a set Marshmallon while I have Lyla break a stall card. This goes on for a while before I get a Witch of the Black Forest search off and proceed to make Iron Chain Dragon, summon Lightpulsar Dragon and overlay them both into Exa-Beetle and equip Witch because you know, she gets her effect when sent by Exa-Beetle.
He fucking RAGED when it became perfectly clear that I was going to bullshit around his Ground Collapses and Marshmallons (because Gaia Charger was coming) and proceeded to rant about how fucking gay the game is and all these stupid retarded cards, etc, etc.

Okay. I'm going to say this right now. Fucking PLEASE. You are playing a FUCKING STALL BURN DECK. Your deck is absolute definition of COMPLETE HORSESHIT that only ASSHOLES play! You have NO RIGHT to bitch and moan about a deck being dumb when you are doing NOTHING but WASTING MY GOD DAMNED TIME with GIMMICKY BULLSHIT that loses to anything REMOTELY DECENT that outright pisses off any SENSIBLE PLAYER. Fucking stop being a GOD DAMNED FUCKING FAGGOT and play a REAL DECK that wins through oh I don't know, NOT BEING A DOUCHEBAG!? I'd rather play fucking DARK WORLD than this piece of SHIT DECK that makes my VOMIT look appealing by comparison!  Seriously to all the people out there who play Stall Burn, Troll Stall, Chain Burn, Empty Jar, Final Countdown and Exodia; FUCK YOU AND GO TO HELL AND DIE.

*Pant, pant*
Sorry about that. I got a bit carried away there. My friends have told me repeatedly that I'm rather humble, quiet and overall a nice person that could benefit from sometimes letting a little of my inner ass come up. I'd like to say that was a bit of a fair start. After all if there's one thing out there that annoys me it's the holier than thou mindset of bad people who get upset because people play good cards because they're good. Also the people that bitch about decks having to side to win and that doing so is a pussy ass move are RETARDED. Of COURSE you side deck! That's how your deck WINS against bad matchups! You know who side decks? People that top any event thats actually worth JACK SHIT. Oh sure you can win your locals with Dark World but if you seriously expect someone to not side in Shadow Mirror/Macro/Imps on you at a Regionals you're fucking delusional. Moreso than I in thinking REDMD should come back to 2 next format which he totally should. Fuck the consequences.

Round 3 - vs Six Samurai (1-2)
Game 1 - He opened Gateway and did what most Samurais always do. Summon recklessly despite Maxx "C" or the like. Sadly I couldn't make him pay for it as he got out Trishula and and knocked out my only chances of punishing him.
Game 2 - Opened Future Fusion and OTKed him on my second turn thanks to a field of Queen Dragun Djinn, REDMD and Chaos Emperor Dragon with Ring of Destruction face down.
Game 3 - He opened dumb and I couldn't do much to stop it. That Samurai Field Spell made everything I could put out far too small and when I tried to Honest over his Shi En he pitched Shien's Squire and yeah...that stopped my everything. I did make a valiant last ditch effort by Metamorphising Battle Fader into Thousand Eyes to take his Shi En then attacked...and then he MST'd my equip and I lost.

Top 4 - vs Megamonkey666 using Superderp 64 (1-2)
Game 1 - Turn 1 Trap Dustshoot followed by I think Painful Choice and yeah...I really could not do much. I scooped when I saw him going for Quasar.
Game 2 - Despite getting hit by another Turn 1 Trap Dustshoot I'm able to pull out an OTK.
Game 3 - ...seriously? Turn 1 Trap Dustshoot!? And you got the Veiler for my Tour Guide and the Imperial Order to my one good banned card!? Can I get a good draw OH NO I CAN'T! GOD FORBID THAT!
And then I kinda got more upset what with some swearing to which I was told by the judge that I had to stop or else I could be told to leave.

...

So I promptly decided to go on an Angry Video Game Level tyrade EXCEPT I actually tried to censor myself because FUCK IT WHY THE HELL NOT. You know how hard it is to try and rant like him without the swearing? Anyway I eventually said Rotten Donkey Anus and we all just started rofling. I honestly thought the one judge was gonna keel over and die (not to mention Megamonkey and the guy next to me). I tried to keep going but it was really hard to keep angry while loling at the same time. Either way I raged and trolled all in one ridiculous moment that will go down in hilarious infamy. This is what happens when you unleash your inner AVGN but have to keep it P.C. It ain't fucking easy people. I mean it ain't fooking easy people.

Also before anyone gets on my case about this rant and the Stall Burn Guy's raging I've got a few points to make. Number one his was all legitimate rage while some of mine was played up for the lulz. Secondly he was running a deck that is a pile of shit taking another shit that nobody likes to play and only trolls run and he had the gall to complain about "all these dumb cards that people run" which is reasoning I find to be absolute bullshit as previously mentioned. Also I said rotten donkey anus.

Anyway that ended my tournament. The finals was between Megamonkey and DarkZane who was playing the most anti metaish deck of us all (57-60 spells and traps compared to say my barely any). I recorded that and picked up an Ultimate Rare Thunder King Rai-Oh. Score! We all went to Robins afterwards and I had some more games with Megamonkey and his deck. Didn't see Dustshoot near as often but still lost more games than I won. I hate saying this but Synchrocentric > Chaos Dragons when it comes to having more power cards at their disposal. I did however do the BEST PLAY EVER by taking his Trag with my Trag, attacking with both at 3000 then overlaying into Gustav Max and burning for game.

But then again it is Chaos Dragons so eh. Only so much you can do with THAT deck. Needs more REDMD, Sorc and such (not to mention my milling has been notoriously bad). Darkzane also gave me a Dark Irregulars deck for CFV that I have no idea what to do with.

Props
-Summoning the Red-Eyes B. Dragon and winning a game via direct attack from him. DARK MEGA FLARE!
-Sticking it to Dark World by stealing a Grapha with Goyo and Trishulaing another one.
-Opening with Future Fusion. Oh god how I've missed this.
-Opening with Painful Choice. Oh you thought Future Fusion was bad? 2 Wulfs and 3 Eclipse Wyvern. Take your pick. Everyone gave me Wulf because it would be a dead card. Then it Recharged it. That card is a hundred times worse than Future Fusion.
-Chaos Emperor Dragon. I summoned it more times than anybody else. Eclipse Wyvern is too stronk.
-Coming up with a RIDICULOUS Exa-Beetle play with Witch of the Black Forest on the spot and making an awful player flip the table.
-Getting out Thousand-Eyes Restrict with Metamorphisis. Nobody did this in the entire Tournament.
-Discarding a Tragooedia with my Tragoedia's effect to take a Tragoedia then overlaying them into Gustav Max. YORU!!!!
-Coining the term Rotten Monkey Anus.

Slops
-Getting sacked. Its Traditional so it happens. Doesn't make it less annoying. Especially when the power ratio between my hand and theirs is horribly unbalanced. Dark Hole and Heavy Storm? Their Change of Heart and Painful Choice then Trishula play laughs at that.
-Losing my cool, no matter how hilarious it ended up being.
-Some of my plays and card choices were not the best. I see this now as many times I had a Mystic Tomato in hand and wanted it to get to Spirit Reaper...only to have it stolen/removed/bounced. A third Reaper would have been better.
-Milling limited/banned cards. Go to hell Card Trooper.

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