Yay Hidden Arsenal 7 is out. I bought two boxes for 100 each which fucking sucks thanks to pack prices in Canada being awful. We Canadians get fucked in the ass by Yu-Gi-Oh! on a regular basis but that's alright. I was able to get everything I needed to build the deck that fucks pounds asses just as well if not better; Evilswarm.
After some minor trades and mooching I was able to build the deck exactly as I wanted and figured this would be a good of a chance to test it as any. While it may be odd that a dragon player like myself would even touch this deck given that Ophion is such a bitch to deal with you've got to keep in mind that Ophion himself is not only a Dragon but he's one that also savages the anuses of several decks by being on the field.
Basically he's a different kind of Koa'ki Meiru Drago and it happens to be that our locals are very weak to this Dark Type Koa'ki Meiru Drago. That and I've always enjoyed the sit on a tank and grind out your win playstyle that this deck, Gladiator Beasts and Hero Beat employ. Classic Disaster Dragon was also exceptional at this as outside of Future Fusion plays you would trade one for ones while poking with Drago, Masked and REDMD before going for a kill. I'll also say to the people who will bitch about me being a dickrider that I don't fucking care what you think. I have a genuine interest in this deck along with all of the other Hidden Arsenal archetypes.
Except Gusto. Fuck them. They're shitawful.
Tournament time!
Round 1 - vs Gallis Agent
Game 1 - Honest fucks me in the ass.
Game 2 - Maxx "C" and Ophion fuck him in the ass.
Game 3 - See above. Ophion. Anus. Fucked.
1-0
Round 2 - vs Mono Mermail (Megamonkey666)
Game 1 - I take it in the ass.
Game 2 - He takes it in the ass.
Game 3 - Abysslead savages my hand and by that I mean my anus through using his effect three times. Both of us fail to realize he can only tribute attack monsters which is a terrible oversight given how experienced we are with the deck. I blame my mistake on worrying if I could even sit on a chair after this savaging.
1-1
Round 3 - vs Evols
Game 1 - Not one but TWO Ophion pound him in the anus. It was not pretty.
Game 2 - Ophion isn't done with that ass yet.
2-1
Top 8 - Win
My opponent never showed up. Clearly he knew about the amount of anuses that I had been savaging with Ophion and ran away before his was next. So I ended up playing a Samurai deck for fun while waiting out the round. Ophion fucked up that ass so hard I honestly wonder if he'll be able to sit for the rest of this week.
3-1
Top 4 - vs Mono Mermail (Megamonkey)
Game 1 - The ass. Ophion gives it the D.
Game 2 - Ophion and two Soul Drains wreck that ass.
Final - vs Geargia Karakuri
Game 1 - Ophion pounds that ass then his own ass gets pounded. Then my ass takes it before I retaliate with extreme anal savagery and win before the store closes.
Draw
I pull a Trap Stun from Astral Pack 2 and we head to Robins for food and comfy chairs to ease the pain of our anuses getting reamed so badly.
I proceed to have some games of Pokemon with Monkey with him eventually using my Speedquaza deck against my Blastoise. We drag out the game a bit because he wants to see just how much damage I can do with a Mewtwo EX that is heavily stacked with energy. Between my near 20 Energy and his own attachments I hit for a massive 380 damage that TEARS THAT ASS UP A NEW ONE. MAXIMUM ANAL RAPEAGE.
Oh and also wrecked anuses and by that I mean one person's with Monarchs because I'm fucking awesome at this game and everyone else only exists to bend over and take it without tears.
This entire tournament report style inspired much by something? Perhaps. Now bend over. Your ass is next.
Props
-Sending several people to the proctologist
-Building an entire Evilswarm Deck out of two boxes of HA7 and 3 trades.
-Getting the core pieces of Constellars and the last monsters needed for Gishki and Gem-Knights
-Hitting for nearly 400 damage in Pokemon. Suck my Basilicock Kyurem EX with Crystal Wall.
Slops
-Needing to see the proctologist as well.
-Not catching the misuse of Abysslead's effect. Tsk tsk
-Not being able to send more people to the proctologist. There were only so many asses to give the Evilswarm D to.
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